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    Sunday, November 13, 2005

    Nimble Mao

    The Squirrels have sent an operative to do a Mission Impossible on the bird feeder. It must have been trained in China for it is nimble and acrobat like. What they do not know is that I have mixed radioactive sunflower seeds into the mix so that I can track them. I’m starting to think that they are big enough to eat should I capture one. Either that or they might make nice pets, or even friends. I am lonely. There are many of them and only one of me. I wonder how they would feel if there was many of me, and only one of them. I bet they would be lonely too. I have named this one Nimble Mao. For he is both nimble and a Maoist. I feel the "Squirrel's War" coming. These are peasants, though oddly large and well fed, squirrels and I am afraid that the believe me to be the bourgeoisie.


    mds35 said...

    Pick the squirrel most likely to pose a threat (in size or social standing) to their leader. Give him something special, a daily treat, a cashmere scarf, whatever. This will get Nimble Mao jealous and the other squirrels will take sides. The inevitable turf war that ensues will reduce their number significantly, thus reducing the levels of ambient radiation in your habitat. Plus, squirrel wars are fun to watch.

    Fabricationist said...

    Nimble Mao is simply the first to be named. There are, I believe, squirrels of greater social bearing. I must be careful rewarding any squirrel too soon. It is a delicate balance the manipulation of small furry mammals. However, as it gets colder, the cashmere scarf idea may works it way to the top with regards to feasibility.