Through sheer luck and a bit of off the cuff intelligence left for me by one of the bats that clean the air of foul insects at night, I got wind that the Squirrels were preparing to unleash another of their insidious plots. It was therefore no great surprise when there came a knock at my door around 5:57 PM this afternoon. Upon inquiring who it was that might be there a faint but high pitched reply sounding like some odd forty voices in concert said, “Tasty Chicken.” This utterance confused me as well, so I inquired “Tasty Chicken What?” To which almost immediately came the response, “Er, well, Uh…to eat.” Well, not being one to turn down tasty free chicken to eat I opened the door and was confronted by the single largest giant chicken I had ever seen. I quickly deduced however, that this was no ordinary giant chicken, but a “Trojan Chicken” concocted by the Squirrels in an effort to gain access to the cabin. If it had not been for a combination of the Bat’s intelligence combined with the fact that the giant chicken was wearing a blue neck scarf, I most likely would have let the chicken in. For you see, Giant Chickens don’t wear blue neck scarves for they clash with the red of their wattle. “Liars! Insidious Fiends!” I screamed at the top of my lungs, at which point forty high pitched voices began to yell things like; “Retreat.”, “He’s on to us.”, Quit stepping on my face.”, and the hind quarters of the chicken erupted with frightened and I must say duly thwarted squirrels. So, all is back to normal now and I have a fine yard ornament, which I have begun to refer to as “Alistair Reginald Terence Umbrage III.”
Sunday, November 06, 2005
THWARTED!
Through sheer luck and a bit of off the cuff intelligence left for me by one of the bats that clean the air of foul insects at night, I got wind that the Squirrels were preparing to unleash another of their insidious plots. It was therefore no great surprise when there came a knock at my door around 5:57 PM this afternoon. Upon inquiring who it was that might be there a faint but high pitched reply sounding like some odd forty voices in concert said, “Tasty Chicken.” This utterance confused me as well, so I inquired “Tasty Chicken What?” To which almost immediately came the response, “Er, well, Uh…to eat.” Well, not being one to turn down tasty free chicken to eat I opened the door and was confronted by the single largest giant chicken I had ever seen. I quickly deduced however, that this was no ordinary giant chicken, but a “Trojan Chicken” concocted by the Squirrels in an effort to gain access to the cabin. If it had not been for a combination of the Bat’s intelligence combined with the fact that the giant chicken was wearing a blue neck scarf, I most likely would have let the chicken in. For you see, Giant Chickens don’t wear blue neck scarves for they clash with the red of their wattle. “Liars! Insidious Fiends!” I screamed at the top of my lungs, at which point forty high pitched voices began to yell things like; “Retreat.”, “He’s on to us.”, Quit stepping on my face.”, and the hind quarters of the chicken erupted with frightened and I must say duly thwarted squirrels. So, all is back to normal now and I have a fine yard ornament, which I have begun to refer to as “Alistair Reginald Terence Umbrage III.”
No comments:
Post a Comment